With Tom Foley
Dear Coach:
I have a question about my business partner who is also a very good friend. We've known each other for about 10 years and get along really well. About a year ago, we decided to start a small business together. Things are going well for the most part. However, there is some tension building between us now. When we first started our business, we divided up the responsibilities. He was to handle the accounting and computer programming since that is a strength for him. I took charge of sales and dealing with customers. Things worked out fairly well until business began to pick up. I needed help with the sales which he agreed to do. However, he doesn't seem very motivated as his follow-through is inconsistent. What should I do?
Dan, St. Louis, MO
Dear Dan:
The problem you describe is a common one in both small business as well as corporations. It has to do with behavior style. Each of us has a "natural" behavior style which reflects how we do things when we can truly be ourselves. That is, it reflects how we are when we're relaxed and comfortable in our surroundings. We each "adapt" our natural style in a number of settings, especially on the job. If we have to adapt our behavior too much or for too long, however, we become stressed and revert back to our natural style.
For example, if a person is naturally a quiet, reserved, and introverted type of individual, he will experience considerable stress if placed in a situation where he/she has to adapt to being outgoing and extroverted. When the stress increases to an uncomfortable level, the person will revert back to their quiet and reserved state. This very well could be what is happening with your partner.
You indicated that he was placed in charge of accounting and computer programming because those were his strengths. My guess is that your partner is a very task-oriented individual who doesn't relish the thought of interacting with people to a large extent. You, on the other hand, like sales. Thus, you're probably more outgoing and people oriented. In starting your business, you both took on job responsibilities that reflected your natural style. And things went well. However, now your partner is forced to adapt his behavior in a way that is creating a great deal of stress for him. Because he continues to revert back to his natural style (e.g., introverted and task oriented), his sales appear to be inconsistent. However, his behavior overall is very consistent.
There are a number of things you two can do to make things work. The most effective one would be to have your behavior styles assessed to understand more clearly where the problems lie. Then you can re-assign job responsibilities based on the strengths you each have. You can also each learn how to more effectively adapt your behavior on the job when the situation calls for it. This will not only improve the communication between the two of you, but it will also help improve sales and the efficiency of your operation. After all, understanding your own behavior and that of others, will help you interact with your customers far more successfully.
Most problems in business could be solved by looking at the root of the problem and making decisions based on that understanding. Otherwise, you're "shooting in the dark." A business coach trained and certified in behavior assessment can help you both understand your behavior styles, open the door to communication, and get back on the road to success.
Tom
Tom Foley is a personal coach, seminar leader, and licensed clinical psychologist who has shared the concepts of "coaching" with hundreds of people. This background, coupled with his former career as a professional musician, has allowed him to utilize his creative spirit to help people achieve their goals and pursue their life dreams. He works with people from a variety of backgrounds, including artists, writers, people in transition, and entrepreneurs.
Coaching, which is conducted by telephone, is an extremely convenient process, and Tom's fee options make it affordable for most people. For information about personal coaching sessions, classes or workshops, call Tom at (425) 482-3022 or visit his website: http://www.lifequest.net
Questions for the "Dear Coach" column may be sent to him via email: indialogue@aol.com
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