With Tom Foley
Dear Coach:
I'm trying to develop a new product, but things just keep getting in the way&emdash;my wife needs help with the homework from her night class, the cars need to be serviced, my son has baseball games that I must attend and besides all that, I've got a long list of "fix-it" chores that I've been putting off. I know you talk about goals and boundaries, but let's face it, you can't always control how life treats you. I tried sacrificing sleep but that just didn't work. What do you do when things really get in your way and you can't seem to find the time? I'm desperate."
Leonard S. Reno, Nevada
Dear Leonard:
I agree that we can't always control what life throws at us. However, simply because things "feel" out-of-control does not mean we can't make choices that will make things work more favorably for us. And going without sleep is not in your best interest. The simple fact is that you only have a certain number of hours in each day to complete everything you have to do. Thus, setting priorities is a must.
First, make a list of everything you need to do each week and determine how much time each task will take. Then place each item on your list in the order of importance from high priority to low priority. Even if everything seems like a priority to you, you must make a determination as to which items you'll tackle first. Otherwise, you'll continue to feel overwhelmed and burdened.
Using a dayplanner, schedule when you'll work on each task during the week. Be sure to schedule some "down time" when you can just relax and take care of yourself. If you don't take this step, you'll eventually burnout, and that would be self-defeating. This system will keep you focused and help you determine where boundaries need to be set with others. Although some people dislike schedules, it is the most effective way to identify your goals, set priorities, and stay on track. And most people who use this method find they get more done with time left over.
I also suggest that you create a "support network." Make a list of everyone you know and what special skills they have to offer you. These individuals can help you achieve your goals&emdash;IF you ask for their help. One of the greatest blunders people make in business is taking on the "lone ranger" mentality. That is, they think they have to do everything themselves. Ask for the help you need when you need it. It's been my experience that people are more than willing to share their expertise when asked. And if you need to pay for some services, it may be worth it in the long run.
Remember…it's not the circumstances that determine our destiny. It's our choices.
Tom
Tom Foley is a personal coach, seminar leader, and licensed clinical psychologist who has shared the concepts of "coaching" with hundreds of people. This background, coupled with his former career as a professional musician, has allowed him to utilize his creative spirit to help people achieve their goals and pursue their life dreams. He works with people from a variety of backgrounds, including artists, writers, people in transition, and entrepreneurs.
Coaching, which is conducted by telephone, is an extremely convenient process, and Tom's fee options make it affordable for most people. For information about personal coaching sessions, classes or workshops, call Tom at (425) 482-3022 or visit his website: http://www.angelfire.com/ca/LifeQuest. Questions for the "Dear Coach" column may be sent to him via email: indialogue@aol.com
